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  1. #1
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    Girlfriend help.......

    Guys, Maybe Girls.... I need some help.... In more ways than what I am going to describe but go with it

    I am at Starbucks standing in line to get my mid afternoon pick me up.... I would not admit this if it was not part of the story... But I order my raspberry mocha chino, give the girl behind the counter my flex shot like I do every day and get a laugh. The girl behind me says that that is her favorite mocha. She is hot and very familiar looking so I offer to buy her one if she wants to sit and talk. Who can turn down this offer to sit with a guy like me. She agreed and one more mocha was ordered.

    I will spare you the details, the discussion was great, she was into me, I into her.... We set a date to go to the movies. It goes well. next date we go to Morton's Steakhouse and laugh the full two hours we are there. She rocks but in this artsy yet dark way. She is addicting and quirky. We get to talking about things and she tells me that most guys think she looks like Stoya. Stoya? Who is that. I let is go and google it after. The guys are right, she looks like Stoya and maybe that is why she looks so familiar.

    Next date she is at my place and we are hanging out and she drops the bomb. She loves me, who wouldn't, but has somethings that she wants straightened out first. In her words, I have 15 minutes to get ready for the night of my life... Here is the kicker, she hates hair. The only place she will allow it s on the top of my head and she will never touch it. I must be 100% clean shaven at all times. Yes, everywhere.

    While shaving everything, clogging the drain, I start to wonder why she likes me, I am like a bear, then she came in. She was ready and waiting for me..... lets just say in my rush, I have more razor burn, cuts and stuff than any person should. I have no leg hair, no arm hair, nothing. The night was amazing and we continued to get together for the next three nights. What a connection. What a hot mess who wants to do everything.

    Here is the issue. I itch like a Mother F'er. Its not just my chest or back, it is everywhere. I tried aftershave. NOT THE ANSWER! I have tried lotion. I do not know what to do. She is the most amazing gal, but this no hair thing is driving me crazy. I sit at work trying to itch EVERY part of my body. Any ideas?

    If you want to know why this is worth it, watch a Stoya video.... YUP......

  2. #2
    Moderator Pthorpe84's Avatar
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    You must be this guy!!

    https://youtu.be/4Y7bBNRmNKA


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    2015 JKU Hard Rock, No Lift, 37" Goodyear MTR-K, Metal Cloak Full Stinger Bumper, GenRight Fusion Rear Stubby Bumper, Poison Spyder Tire Carrier, Metal Cloak Rock Sliders, Warn Power Plant HD, Viair Constant Duty with Tank, 17" ATX Slabs, Evo Skid Plates, Cheap Chinese Lights, Factor 55 Flat Link, ApolloIntec Switch Pod, 48" Hi-Lift, Dynomax Exhaust, Custom Pin Stripping by Mother Nature

    https://www.instagram.com/4lotested/

  3. #3
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    Not quite sure if serious, but I'll bite.

    Proper manscaping is a balancing act. Not enough humectant and moisture, your skin will form fine cracks and itch like hell, especially when you sweat. Too much, and you'll be nicking yourself with the razor.

    General advice first: I don't condone completely shaving all hair. Some is there for a reason (wicking sweat away from the skin), and removing it all can lead to that "un-fresh" feeling. That said, you say it's worth it, so you do you.
    1) Start with a QUALITY razor. Personally, I go the safety razor route because NEAT (Non-Essential Action Tremors) makes a straight razor a deathtrap for me. Good quality blades aren't terribly expensive, and so long as you keep it clean you should be able to take a good amount of hair off before needing to replace a blade - for me, that means 10-12 shaves of my face and neck. For the wife, it means 5-6 shaves of... well, whatever she shaves, let's just say more than legs and pits. 'Nuff
    2) Moisturize and seal - this means a good shaving cream (not that foam crap in a can), as well as a shaving balm and moisturizer afterwards.
    2a) Shaving Cream - I've made the switch to Cremo. After trying many many many many different products, this works best for me, but it's a personal preference thing.
    2b) Shaving Balm - Don't bother with anything scented. I'm not ashamed to admit that I use Beaver Butter (meant for emmm.... feminine use) - but it's the best I could find without a scent. YMMV
    2c) Moisturizer - Again, unscented is best, especially on freshly shaven areas. Ask the new girl what moisturizer she uses, and start from there.
    3) Technique - You've already broken the seal, so to speak, by shaving down. I would've recommended starting off with a beard trimmer to get the hair down to an easily shave-able length before shaving, but that horse is already out of the barn. Now that you're maintaining the landscape, you have to figure out which technique works best for you. For the quickest and easiest shave, go with the grain, just be aware you'll still have stubble. For the most complete shave, you have to go with, against, and across the grain.
    4) Management - So you're as fresh shorn as a baby, now what? Skin will get irritated for a couple of reasons.
    4a) When you shave, you're not just nipping the hair unless you're doing a poor job of it. You're also taking off the top of the hair follicle. Shaving bumps and razor burn are a common side effect. Cool those down ASAP with shaving balm
    4b) Skin will crack if you let it dry out moreso than your body is used to. Moisturizer is great, just let it dry before putting clothes on top of it. If it won't dry, you're using too much.
    4c) An even bigger irritant (and probably a good chunk of why you're itchy) is the residue of salts left on your skin from sweating. You can try using a talc-based powder to ease this. I've found that moisture-wicking clothes have come a long way. Hanes and Champion both have lines of socks, underwear, undershirts, etc... that do a pretty good job of wicking away the sweat.

    I think that's enough for now. Give those things a try and report back. Whatever you do, DO NOT use the chemical-based hair removers (things like Nair), especially in sensitive areas. If shaving irritates your skin, the chemical route will be FAR worse.

    Best of luck!
    O_E

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pthorpe84 View Post
    You must be this guy!!

    https://youtu.be/4Y7bBNRmNKA
    Close, but my beard extends down do my chest and it just keeps going.

    Quote Originally Posted by Other_Erik View Post
    Not quite sure if serious, but I'll bite.

    Proper manscaping is a balancing act. Not enough humectant and moisture, your skin will form fine cracks and itch like hell, especially when you sweat. Too much, and you'll be nicking yourself with the razor.

    ............
    Best of luck!
    O_E
    Holy Crap! So you must have dated the same girl I am for a while now!

    You are right on everything, my first shave was like jumping off a cliff. I just did it with no prep. Since then I have been using some pink razor with 6 blades I think with soap in the shower.

    Before, I would have said my body felt like the loop side of Velcro. Soft and smooth... Now I feel like the hook side.... My shirts stick to the stubble... We wont go into the chaffing.

    So, should I order from dollar shave club or are the items you listed available at the grocery store? I will be ordering ASAP.

    The other issues I seem to have is my socks fall down now. I think that is the only area where my stubby hair is not grabbing onto something for dear life.

    Also my toes have become very irritated from the shave.

    This is a family site, so I wont go into detail... but let your mind go a bit. Picture this )( two shaved surfaces rubbing together for quite some time and mix in some moisture. Maybe the issue is my surface is not quite smooth yet. I am a bit red and I assume the other party must be also. No bleeding yet, but it hurts to sit.

  5. #5
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    Update on the hair.... I just got some normal lotion an life is slightly better. I have to shave every day otherwise I start to stick to the couch. LOL... Life is slightly better..

    BUT, or should I say BUTT, oh boy. Go with me here. I have never dated a freak like this. This girl is full of amazing and she is so sexy, even when we go out to eat. Her mind is just plain sexy and she has this look about her all of the time that just says that she wants...... Yeah, she wants it. I am not so freaked out about that yet although I wonder if she is going to be able to meet the parents.

    Last night, we were having fun. Lots of it. She is pretty vocal. I am normally almost laughing half the time... I have a shoulder in one and, hair in the other. I was told to pull, then to stick it in her....... Yes, that word from above.. I have never done that. I was froze. She commanded me to do it again and I was froze in fear. On one hand, trying new things is great, but what might be in that cave that I don't want on me. The other said do it. I must have been froze too long, probably 5 second, but it felt like 30 seconds.... When she took over and exploring we went.

    I could go into a lot more awkward detail of how she might have been in pain in the beginning and how it was just weird, butt I will leave that for later. It was an amazing night, but I still feel odd about it. Has anyone else done that and felt normal after. Does it get easier over time. Am I over thinking it?

  6. #6
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    Do not move in or get married for a year. You will find out the quirks. Get in a argument to.


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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Griffin View Post
    Holy Crap! So you must have dated the same girl I am for a while now!

    You are right on everything, my first shave was like jumping off a cliff. I just did it with no prep. Since then I have been using some pink razor with 6 blades I think with soap in the shower.

    Before, I would have said my body felt like the loop side of Velcro. Soft and smooth... Now I feel like the hook side.... My shirts stick to the stubble... We wont go into the chaffing.

    So, should I order from dollar shave club or are the items you listed available at the grocery store? I will be ordering ASAP.

    The other issues I seem to have is my socks fall down now. I think that is the only area where my stubby hair is not grabbing onto something for dear life.

    Also my toes have become very irritated from the shave.

    This is a family site, so I wont go into detail... but let your mind go a bit. Picture this )( two shaved surfaces rubbing together for quite some time and mix in some moisture. Maybe the issue is my surface is not quite smooth yet. I am a bit red and I assume the other party must be also. No bleeding yet, but it hurts to sit.
    So... picturing not necessary. I haven't used the dollar shave club, but I order my supplies on Amazon. You don't need to shell out $100+ on the handle, but be ready to replace the handle every 6 months at $20-30 apop if you use it in the shower. Feather makes great handles, but expensive. For me, the best blades have been from Merkur. I get my Cremo shave cream at Walmart cheaper than you can get it on Amazon. I'd recommend getting some non-medicated unscented talc powder for the areas that rub... If you end up with ingrown hairs or irritated follicles, shaving will be next to impossible.

    If you're like me, swampfoot is going to be a BIG problem. Get yourself a good number of sweat-wicking socks, change them in the middle of the day, and rotate which shoes you wear so you're not soaking the materials of the shoe every day or you'll have STINK on top of the irritation. Keeping socks from falling is one I haven't had to worry about, since I don't skip leg day

    Don't worry about the freezing up - you need to build trust in a relationship before you can be willing to let go and do things without thought. That takes time. Oh, and discuss the meeting with parents - one of my exes sprang it on me "Hey, let's go for a romantic weekend to this beach house I know" became "Oh, and by the way, my parents will be so happy to meet you" when we were pulling into the driveway...

    O_E

  8. #8
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    I am still itching like a mutha. There seems to be little I can do about it.

    Things are moving quickly. I am taking advantage of it and learning. She had a few glasses of wine at dinner last night and she was a bit more aggressive. I have a few bruises. That is 100% new to me.

    I froze again. This time was hard to say YUK and I am unsure how to approach it. Not sure how to explain it. It went a little something like before where I froze above, but when my guy was done there, he ended up next to a tongue and that tongue went from there to kissing me. Um no. But how do you say that is gross.

  9. #9
    Moderator Pthorpe84's Avatar
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    Use deoderant after you shave....will help with the stubble....or you could go full on wax...now that would make for some fun sound bites!
    2015 JKU Hard Rock, No Lift, 37" Goodyear MTR-K, Metal Cloak Full Stinger Bumper, GenRight Fusion Rear Stubby Bumper, Poison Spyder Tire Carrier, Metal Cloak Rock Sliders, Warn Power Plant HD, Viair Constant Duty with Tank, 17" ATX Slabs, Evo Skid Plates, Cheap Chinese Lights, Factor 55 Flat Link, ApolloIntec Switch Pod, 48" Hi-Lift, Dynomax Exhaust, Custom Pin Stripping by Mother Nature

    https://www.instagram.com/4lotested/

  10. #10
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    Ask the bodybuilders how they do it.


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